Ok so this is the first blog I’m writing that’s officially called a blog.
People talk a lot about how the ideal way to end things is a long life and a painless death, preferably while asleep. This bothers me. Why don’t people realize that being ninety-fucking-six years old isn’t a good thing?
First off, I get the whole “I’m old and still active” thing. That makes sense. Unless by “active” you mean that you can still go for walks but your dick is forever curled up in the fetal position. Fuck that, I don’t want that. Walking can bite my raging hard-on if it means that I’m dying a few years earlier.
This doesn’t seem to be the case for most people, they’d give up living a really great 50 years if they get to drag it on to the point where gumming their food is a daily highlight. Fuck, I’d much rather reduce the world’s population, not to mention their tax dollars, if it means I don’t need to become the equivalent of a forgetful, wrinkled infant. Ask people if they’d like to live a long life, and they will always answer yes. Ask them if they want to be a 105 year old man, most will say no. What people want isn’t long life, its eternal youth. And even that is bullshit unless everybody else gets it too. Fuck living forever as a 20-year-old if everybody else is dead.
This brings me to death. I am not ready to die. I do not want to die in the next 40 years if I can help it. But I definitely do want to die eventually.
Most people (the same ones who are content with eating everything in liquid form and never having sex again) want to die painlessly in their sleep. I don’t.
I think that there are 3 factors that need to be taken into account when it comes to death. 1: age, 2: pain, 3: cool factor. Only the first two are usually considered. I am 100% willing to sacrifice some of the pain points to go for more cool points.
If it were completely up to me, the following is how I’d like it to go down.
Age: 70, Pain: excruciating, Cool Factor: ten billion cool points.
Now how do I define a cool death? For me to be satisfied with the cool points, I want to make national, if not international, headlines.
I want people to log onto their homepage and read “Montreal man dies fending off school of sharks at a nuclear test facility in Iraq”
That, to me, would be the ideal. Fuck the painless death in your sleep. If there’s no fire, spies, or deadly animals involved, then why bother dying.
Anyways, it’s getting late and I’m tired as fuck. This has been the first official blog.
-Thor’s Hammer
People talk a lot about how the ideal way to end things is a long life and a painless death, preferably while asleep. This bothers me. Why don’t people realize that being ninety-fucking-six years old isn’t a good thing?
First off, I get the whole “I’m old and still active” thing. That makes sense. Unless by “active” you mean that you can still go for walks but your dick is forever curled up in the fetal position. Fuck that, I don’t want that. Walking can bite my raging hard-on if it means that I’m dying a few years earlier.
This doesn’t seem to be the case for most people, they’d give up living a really great 50 years if they get to drag it on to the point where gumming their food is a daily highlight. Fuck, I’d much rather reduce the world’s population, not to mention their tax dollars, if it means I don’t need to become the equivalent of a forgetful, wrinkled infant. Ask people if they’d like to live a long life, and they will always answer yes. Ask them if they want to be a 105 year old man, most will say no. What people want isn’t long life, its eternal youth. And even that is bullshit unless everybody else gets it too. Fuck living forever as a 20-year-old if everybody else is dead.
This brings me to death. I am not ready to die. I do not want to die in the next 40 years if I can help it. But I definitely do want to die eventually.
Most people (the same ones who are content with eating everything in liquid form and never having sex again) want to die painlessly in their sleep. I don’t.
I think that there are 3 factors that need to be taken into account when it comes to death. 1: age, 2: pain, 3: cool factor. Only the first two are usually considered. I am 100% willing to sacrifice some of the pain points to go for more cool points.
If it were completely up to me, the following is how I’d like it to go down.
Age: 70, Pain: excruciating, Cool Factor: ten billion cool points.
Now how do I define a cool death? For me to be satisfied with the cool points, I want to make national, if not international, headlines.
I want people to log onto their homepage and read “Montreal man dies fending off school of sharks at a nuclear test facility in Iraq”
That, to me, would be the ideal. Fuck the painless death in your sleep. If there’s no fire, spies, or deadly animals involved, then why bother dying.
Anyways, it’s getting late and I’m tired as fuck. This has been the first official blog.
-Thor’s Hammer
you should watch Harold and Maude. Enjoying life while you can is what it's all about. Wisdom.
ReplyDeleteMaude:
A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life. *Reach* out. Take a *chance*. Get *hurt* even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.
y'all be crazy, bitch.
ReplyDeleteWell different definitions of life clearly, but emphasizing on 'play as well as you can', in the view of Thor's Hammer, he clearly states how playing as well as you can doesn't always suffice, at least in the context of 'It's better to burn out, than to fade away'.
ReplyDelete-Swank